The Sweet Discovery
by foxhenderson
Summary: Logan/OC & Carlos/OC
1. The Meeting

I remember that day like it was yesterday. Katie and I walked into the library and she ran straight to the romantic novels, pulling me with her. I, as usual, just browsed around with her. It didn't take long for her to find one she liked. She found the nearest table and began to read. I headed over to the Manga shelves. I ran my fingers on the books as I scanned the titles, trying to find one I haven't read already. I turned and saw Katie concentrated on her book. I looked back at the shelves and sighed. I just wasn't finding a good book today. I quit looking and decided to go sit with Katie.

"Dude, this book is so good," she whispered.

"You barely started."

"I know, but they're already getting freaky," she giggled.

"Wow, you really like those book don't you?"

"Shut up, Monica!"

We didn't realize she had shouted that until we had everyone in the library staring at us, including the guy who sat behind the front desk. He smiled and I felt my face heat up. He was really cute and I couldn't look away. He smiled was just so breathtaking. I stood up and went back to the nearest shelves. I wasn't looking for anything, I had given up on that, I just wanted to hide.

After a few deep breaths and some fanning at my face, I decided to go back to the table. When I got there, Katie was no where to be seen.

"Katie?" I whispered, not wanted to draw anymore negative attention.

I looked passed all the shelves and looked to all the tables. I couldn't find her anywhere. I tried calling and texting, nothing worked. I had avoided the front desk, but eventually I felt like I had no other choice. I had to pass it when I wanted to leave anyways. I looked, but she wasn't there. I walked in that direction heading straight for the exit, trying not to make eye contact with the cute guy. I was so close to walking out that door when…

"Were you looking for any book in particular?"

His voice was so sweet and soft, but perfect.

"Um, yeah…I mean…no. I was looking for my friend Katie. You didn't see her did you? She's short, had long brown hair?"

"Oh yeah, you're Monica?"

His voice saying my name gave me goosebumps.

I nodded, yes.

"She told me to tell you that she will be back and not to leave."

"Did she say what time she was coming back?"

He shook his head.

Katie was my ride home.

"Thanks," I told him.

"Everyone is leaving. I'm gonna get ready to close up in a little bit. I have to wait for everyone to leave though. So you're welcome to wait here with me until your friend gets back."

"Sure. Thanks."

He nodded towards the chair that was behind the desk, next to him. I sat down and tapped my toe inside my shoe. I was getting inpatient and this guy wasn't only making me nervous. I thought about how I was going to murder Katie as soon as she got back. The guy left and walked around the library for a little bit. Probably just making sure the place was empty. He came back moments later.

"Everyone is gone. Your friend still isn't back yet?"

I shook my head.

"Well I can wait for you for a little bit longer if you want."

"No, no it's okay. I'll walk home. I don't live very far."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

I headed out the door and noticed that there was a storm happening. How did I not hear this when I was inside? I stood there for a little bit, thinking, again, about how I was going to kill Katie. I felt the door open behind me. It was the guy.

"Come on, I'll give you a ride home."

"Uhh…"

"It's okay. I'm a nerd who works at the library. I'm not going to hurt you."

I have to admit that made me giggle a little. He was a cute nerd.

"Okay, then."

I followed him to his car. We ran, which was pointless because we still got soaked. We drove slow, in this weather it was hard to see. I was still able to give him good directions though, but it seemed like it was taking forever to get to my house. I admit, I wasn't so nervous. I think it was the way he was so calm, even though it was scary out here.

"You said you lived close," he smiled.

"It's not that far."

"And you were going to walk in this?"

"I like the rain,' I shrugged.

When we finally got to my house, I couldn't wait to get inside. Then the curiosity hit me.

"You just started working at the library, didn't you?" I asked.

"Yeah, just a few weeks ago. I'm guessing you go often?"

"Yeah. A lot, actually. Just not this past month, I've been busy with other crap."

"Mm."

"Well, thanks for the ride."

"I guess I'll see you at the library."

"Yeah, I guess you will."

"See yah, Monica."

"See you, and thanks again…um…,"

"Logan, Logan Mitchell."

"Thank you, Logan Mitchell."


	2. The Dates

Katie ditched me on purpose. She knew Logan would want to talk to me, so she made some sort of deal with him. I still can't believe she let some stranger take me home. I sorta forgave her, though. I guess I didn't mind it so much.

He smiled at me as I walked into the library, one evening. I smiled back and headed towards the Manga section. I picked out a good book from the new section they had up and sat at the usual table. About an hour later, Logan approached me.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi."

"So, I'll be closing up soon, I was wondering, if…um…you'd want to go get some ice cream after?"

He looked down and played with his thumbs, it was so adorable.

"Is it that late already?" I asked, looking at my phone.

"Uh…"

"Oh sorry, sure. I'd love ice cream."

His face lit up.

"Oh! Cool, so…um…I"ll see you in a little bit?"

I nodded and smiled.

"Cool, uhh….yeah…cool," he said, walking away.

I continued to read with a smile on my face.

* * *

><p>"So you really love ice cream don't you?" he asked.<p>

"Oh yes! I love it, like a lot. Even in the winter. It can never be too cold for ice cream."

"It is very delicious," he smiled.

We sat on a bench outside the ice cream shop. Logan sat really close to me. He was nervous and I could tell, but it was just so dang adorable. He told me stories about his life before he moved here to Chicago, from Los Angeles, a couple months ago. It was fascinating, growing up in a city like that.

"It was definitely a big change, but this city is just as beautiful," he said.

He asked a lot about me too. As in what my favorite ice cream flavor was and about things I like to do. It was actually very nice. He was kind, and even though we barely met, he didn't seem like a creep.

After finishing our ice cream, we headed back to his car. He stayed close. It was a little awkward. He really seemed nervous. After our fingers brushed once, he reached for my hand. He laced our fingers together. I just went along with it. It felt off at first, but maybe Logan and I could really become something.

* * *

><p>"I had fun," he said, as he walked me to my door.<p>

"Me too, we should do it again sometime soon."

"Really? I mean….I'd like that," he said, looking away.

He leaned in and gave me a small kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks for the ice cream," I smiled.

He gave me a little wave and headed back to his car.

* * *

><p>I saw him a lot on my trips to the library throughout the week. He gave me his bright smile, that showed off his shiny whites and I gave him the shy smile as usual. We exchanged phone numbers, Tumblr Urls, Facebook, and Twitter names, that night. Every morning since last weekend, I've woken up to a text from Logan saying, 'Good Morning, Mo.' He already had a nickname for me, cute. I always reply with a happy face. This morning it was something different. The text read, 'You wanna get some breakfast?' I smiled and texted back a yes.<p>

He picked me up about an hour later. He handed me a daisy as we walked to his car. He blushed and looked away, when I took it.

At the restaurant, he sat across from me in the booth and stared.

"What," I asked. "Do I have something in my teeth?" I turned away, suddenly embarrassed.

"No, no," he smiled. "You're fine, just perfect."

I felt myself blush.

"I'd like you to meet my parents tonight," he said.

I almost choked on my orange juice.

"But Logan, this is only our second date and…"

"Please?"

He looked at me with large puppy eyes that I just couldn't resist.

"Okay…"

His smile went from ear to ear.

* * *

><p>"So I'll pick you up around dinner time, like six?" he asked, as he walked me to my door.<p>

"Yeah, that's fine."

He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and headed to his car.

I walked into my house feeling odd, almost uncomfortable. I just met Logan like two weeks ago, we've been on two dates and he already wants me to meet his parents. I took a deep breath and looked at it in a different way. Maybe Logan hasn't had these kinds of experiences before. He just wants to make a good impression. The uncomfortable feeling went away quickly, it was replaced with a nervous feeling. All I could hope for was that things go well at dinner.

* * *

><p>"Katie I need you here now!" I shouted at the phone.<p>

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just have no idea what I'm going to wear tonight!"

I heard her laugh on the other side.

"You scared the crap out of me, Monica."

"Can you just come over and help me please?"

"HUUUUH! Yeah, I'm on my way."

She showed up ten minutes later with a large bag in hands.

"What's that?" I asked.

"It's you're outfit for tonight."

She took the bag off the hanger and revealed a beautiful purple dress.

"Wow Katie, it's perfect!"

"I knew you'd like it. It is purple after all."

I put it up to me and looked in the mirror.

"It's all yours," she said.

"Thank you so much! I love it."

"Good. Now let's get you ready."

* * *

><p>Before Logan opened the door to his house I stopped him.<p>

"Wait! Logan, I'm a little nervous," I admitted.

"No need to be, everything will be fine. You look amazing and they are going to love you."

I smiled, nervously and we stepped inside.

Everything was running smoothly. Some of the nerves disappeared throughout the evening. I learned a lot about The Mitchells. First off, they were both doctors and the both spoke three languages, English, French and Spanish, turns out that's very helpful when you're a doctor. I also learned quite a bit about Logan. He also wants to become a doctor, but also loves to sing and dance.

Dinner was great. Mr. Mitchell cracked jokes and Mrs. Mitchell tried to pull out Logan's baby pictures. Lucky for Logan, she misplaced the photo albums. After all the laughs, Logan stood up. I started to stand up to, but he stopped me.

"I have something to say," he said.

He walked over to me and took my hand. I felt a knot form in my stomach. I swallowed hard.

"Monica, I was…um…" I felt his hand shaking in mine. "I was wondering, if…you wanted to be my girlfriend…?"

I heard Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell awe. I turned to them and their smiles were huge. Logan looked at me with those big eyes again. I'm not ready for this. Logan and I don't know each other that well. We just met and he was already asking me this, in front of his family. How am I supposed to turn him down like this?

"Uh….of course!" I smiled.

He lifted me up into a hug. I bit my lip.

His parents got up and they each hugged me.

"You make our son so happy," Mrs. Mitchell said, almost crying.

All I could do was smile at them. I felt terrible. I like Logan, I really do, but I'm not ready to be his girlfriend yet. They way they all looked, so sweet and kind. They really wanted me to say yes. I am in quite a pickle here.

Mr. Mitchell headed to the living room to watch sports, while Logan and I helped Mrs. Mitchell clear the table.

"I'll take it from here," Mrs. Mitchell said. "You kids can go hang out."

"Alright, we'll be upstairs," Logan said, pulling me away.

I was suddenly scared. I hoped and prayed that Logan wouldn't try anything that night. I felt my hands sweat. Relief took over when I saw him pull out a box of pictures. We sat on his bed and emptied the box. He showed me lots of pictures of him in L.A. with his family. There was one picture that stood out to me. It was of him with another guy.

"That guy right there," he pointed. "He is my best friend in the entire world. We've been best friends since pre school. He's practically my brother. His name is Carlos Garcia. He's back in L.A, he's a singer."

"Like a famous one?" I asked, not taking my eyes off his Latino friend.

"Nahh, he wants to be though. He's really talented. He's actually going to be coming to visit soon. You get to meet him."

"Cool. I'd love to meet your friends."

I really meant that. I agreed to be Logan's girlfriend and even though I was too soon, I still didn't want to be a crappy one. Logan is sweet and he doesn't deserve to be treated badly AND his family is very kind.

That night when Logan walked me to my door, I knew immediately what he was going to try. He leaned in for a _real _kiss. I leaned forward and kissed him back. I admit, he was very good at it and I really liked it. It didn't feel so weird being his girlfriend all of a sudden. I really like Logan and I was happy. Maybe this could work.

* * *

><p>Logan and I had been together for three. Everything was going well. We took trips to Six Flags, went out to dinner a lot, and took boat rides at Navy Pier. The night I brought him to meet my parents, I knew I really liked him. He was <em>extra <em>polite, respectful and kind. My parents really liked him and they approved.

One day, things got a bit weird. We went to the park and watched the clouds for a little bit.

"How many kids do you want to have?" he asked. "Like when we get married."

My eyes felt like they were going to pop out.

"What?"

"I think we should have three. What do you think?"

"Are you being serious?"

"Yeah, completely."

I looked at him and I saw that he really was serious. I couldn't believe what he was asking.

"Umm… I don't know. I haven't given it much thought."

"Oh."

I bit my lip. That awkward, uncomfortable feeling was back. I didn't like it at all. We haven't been together that long and he was already making wedding plans.

After that day, things only got more weird. I had to stop him from almost killing one of my guy friends because he hugged me.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I can get pretty jealous sometimes."

"It's okay, just go apologize to Michael, not me."

I watched them as the talked, then shook hands. I've never seen this violent side to Logan. He didn't look like the type and when he acted kindly, I certainly didn't expect it.

He began to text me once every hour that we weren't together. He asked what I was up to and if I was thinking of him, most of the time I was because something about him is worrying me, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Katie and I still hung out at the library and he always came over to talk to us. Eventually Katie started sitting somewhere else because she hated how he wouldn't let her concentrate on her reading with his talking.

* * *

><p>"So you wanna go see a movie tonight?" he asked, while we were leaving the library.<p>

"Actually I can't tonight. I have to write a paper for class. I'm sorry."

"How come you don't want to go anywhere with me anymore?"

He used a tone that I didn't recognize. It kind of scared me.

"What do you mean Logan? We go to a lot of places together."

"But we can't go see a movie?"

"I really can't tonight. How about tomorrow?"

"Maybe. Unless something else comes up, right?"

I gave him a confused look.

"Logan, why are you talking to me like that?"

He took a deep breath and shook his head.

"I'm sorry," he took my hands. "I really am. I'm just tired I guess."

"Let's go home. You should rest."

"Yeah."

He kissed me and we headed home. The entire way to my house, I was terrified to say a word.

* * *

><p><strong>Random Vivy Thoughts: <strong>_hope this wasn't total crap. im really excited for the next few chapters. im also a chapter behind so ill be posting another tonight and then ill post another chapter of _Catch Me _soon_,_ then ill be all caught up.(:_


	3. The Best Friend

It's been two months. I've seen lots of changes in Logan. He wasn't always as kind as he used to be. He always got angry when I didn't text him back and when I couldn't go somewhere with him he would become furious. It really worried me. I talked to Katie about it a lot. She suggested I talk to him about it, and that's what I did.

"Logan," I began. "We really need to talk."

"Oh no, you're not breaking up with me, are you?"

He looked torn and he began to panic.

"No! No! I just wanted to talk….about you."

"What is it?"

"Logan, don't hate me for this or take it the wrong way, but…um…I think you need help….with your anger…issues."

"I don't have anger issues."

"Yes, you…do. I'm only telling you this because I really care about you."

"Monica, I don't have anger problems. I know I can get crabby often, and I'm sorry, I'll keep calm. Promise."

I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere with this. He wasn't going to listen to me.

"Maybe you can talk to someone?"

"I'm not crazy! I don't need to see any doctors!"

"Logan, I was just-,"

"No! I don't want to talk about this anymore."

He stood up from my couch and walked towards the door. He turned to me.

"Are you coming to the airport with me or not?"

I took a deep breath. Maybe I'll try again later.

"Yeah. I'm coming."

We waited for, Logan's friend, Carlos to arrive from L.A. Logan didn't say much, he just held my hand. He still worried me. Now that I think about it, maybe Carlos can help me talk to him. Maybe he can convince Logan that he needs help. We can take him to a counselor or maybe even talking to Carlos will help. Logan said they were like brothers.

When I felt Logan get up, I knew Carlos had arrived. Carlos had a huge smile on his face when he greeted his best friend.

"Logie! How are yah, man? I feel like it's been forever!"

"I know, it really does!" Logan said, hugging back.

Carlos was about Logan's height. He was tan, and had short brown hair. His eyes were big, brown, and breathtaking.

I felt Logan take my hand and pull me closer.

"Monica, this is my best friend Carlos. Carlos this is my girlfriend, Monica," Logan smiled.

I shook Carlos' hand.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Monica. You're all Logan talks about over the phone."

"Oh really?" I nudged Logan in the stomach.

Logan just laughed, blushing a little bit.

* * *

><p>On the way back to Logan's house, I found myself glancing at Carlos in the backseat from the side view mirror. He looked out the window the whole time. I thought a lot about him and Logan's childhood, did they fight often? Did Logan get angry as often? I got lost in my thoughts. Next thing I knew we were pulling into Logan's driveway.<p>

The rest of the evening, Carlos was telling us about what he's been up to in L.A and how he's improved on his singing. We asked him to sing for us, but he said another time. We understood that he was tired. Logan also talked about his job at the library and how we met. I didn't say too much. I like to listen and I didn't want to interrupt these two. They have a lot to catch up on.

Carlos seemed like a really nice guy. I could tell that the picture Logan showed me was old because he definitely looked a lot different now and well, older too. It was obvious that they both cared a lot for each other. They asked about each others families and friends. They both had two more best friends that live in L.A, James and Kendall. They had busier schedules so they couldn't visit as often as they would want to.

* * *

><p>That weekend Logan, Carlos and I hung out at Jamba Juice. Everything has felt pretty normal again. Logan wasn't freaking out on me like he used to. He still texts, calls, and visits me all the time, but he hasn't been angry. I give Carlos all the credit. Ever since he got here I could tell right away that it made Logan happy. He was reunited with his best friend and that always does everyone some good. At the same time I couldn't help but feel a little bit hurt. I feel like I wasn't making Logan happy. Every little thing I did made him angry with me. I couldn't let this bother me though. I'm just being selfish. Logan grew up with Carlos, of course they're closer than he and I.<p>

"So you guys wanna catch a movie before I go to work?"

"Sure, sounds good. You in Monica?" Carlos asked.

"Oh! Um, I can't actually. I promised Katie I would go to her house and read Harry Potter with her. We're trying to finish the series before the last movie comes out."

"Sounds fun. I love the Harry Potter Series," Carlos smiled.

"Really?"

Carlos opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Logan.

"Monica! Can I talk to you for a sec?" He took my hand and pulled me to the side.

"Uhh, sure. What's going on?"

_Uh oh._

"What the hell?" He whispered. "Come to the movies tonight."

"Logan, I promised Katie!"

"But Carlos is visiting! I don't know how much longer he is going to stay. Do this for me, please?"

I took in a deep breath.

"Fine."

The anger in his eyes disappeared.

"Thank you!"

He hugged me tightly and kissed my face all over.

"You're the best," he said.

We walked back to the table and finished our smoothies. I could only think about Katie. I pulled out my phone and texted her. I knew she was angry with me. All she said was _"Okay."_

I felt really bad sitting in the movie theatre with the guys. I really wanted to go and read with Katie. I knew she was really pissed at me. I felt like a horrible friend. I wasn't even paying attention to Transformers.

"At least look like you're watching the movie," Logan whispered.

I didn't respond. I just looked at the screen.

* * *

><p>"I don't hate you, Mo."<p>

"I'm so sorry Katie. It's just that you know how Logan is."

"Yeah, I know. I forgive you."

"Thank you. I feel really bad."

"It's okay. We can read right now, if you want? Now that you're here."

"Sure," I smiled.

I shut my phone off for about two hours while Katie and I read. It was so relaxing to just avoid it. I knew what would be coming when I turned it back on. I was almost afraid to press the on button.

"Don't do it!" Katie shouted.

"I have to! What if my mom called or something?"

As soon as the screen lit up, I saw twenty texts come up and thirty missed calls. I took a deep breath and looked through them. All the calls were from Logan, and seventeen texts were from him too. The other three were from Twitter.

Most of the texts were:

_Why is your phone off?_

_Why aren't you answering my calls?_

_I'm coming over!_

_You're not home? Where are you?_

I showed Katie the texts. She gave me a worried look.

"I think you should break up with him," she said.

"I can't do that, I really like him."

"Are you sure you just don't feel sorry for him?"

Now I was confused.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because, you're like his LIFE! He always wants to be with you and he's always talking you in some way. It's almost like…he can't live without you."

"I think you're exaggerating."

"No, Monica. You just don't want to see it. He's obsessed and he needs help."

"…maybe you're right."

I looked at my phone. Logan should be at work right now.

"I'm going to talk to Carlos."

"Good. But you have to fix this too. You can't have him do all the work."

On my way to Logan's house I drove by the library and made sure his car was there. When I saw it I felt relieved, now I know it will be safe at his house.

Carlos opened the door, luckily.

"Hey. Logan's at work, I thought…you'd know that," he said, confused.

"Oh yeah, I know, but um…I'm here to talk _you._"

"Oh,…uh…come in."

We sat in the living room. It was a bit awkward, but I had to say something. I needed his help.

"Carlos, um, has Logan ever had any anger issues?"

He sighed and looked away.

"Yeaaah, I'm guessing he hasn't been taking his pills. Dammit Logan! He said he wanted to get better."

I felt a knot form in my stomach.

"He hasn't hit you has he?"

"Oh NO! Never!"

"Okay. Good."

"He's …violent?"

"He's gotten that far," he nodded. "You shouldn't be afraid though."

"Are you insane? I'm terrified!"

"He loves you! He would NEVER hit you!"

"Logan can't love me! We haven't even been dating that long! I…make him mad."

"That's not true! It's not your fault."

"Yes, it is! Everything I do it wrong!"

"NO, Monica. It's not you."

"You haven't seen him in months, you don't know!"

I suddenly felt like I should've never come here in the first place. I headed out the door.

"Wait! I'm sorry. I'll…I'll talk to him."

I saw that he really cared in his eyes. They were sad to know that his friend was going through this again. It must've been harder in the beginning.

"Thank you," I said, as I left the house.

* * *

><p>The next day I left Katie's house early. I wanted to go home and download some new music before working on some homework. I took the long way home, through the busy streets, just tried to distract myself, when I heard someone call my name from behind. I turned and saw Carlos walking rushing towards me.<p>

"Hey! I was just on my way to your house."

"Oh?"

"I talked to Logan and his parents. You're right, he needs help….again. So I'm gonna find him a professional."

"What did he say? Does he hate me?"

"He was angry, of course. He says he's okay. And no, he doesn't hate you. I don't think that's possible."

"Of course it is."

"You really care about him don't you?" he asked.

"Yeah, I do."

"Well, it's all going to get better. I'll fix this. You can relax."

I don't know how it became so easy to trust Carlos. He was so confident and I believed he knew what he was doing. He is Logan's best friend, of course.

"You wanna get some ice cream?"

"Um, …I…," I can download music some other time. "…okay."

We enjoyed an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, not too far from home. Sitting at a small round table with Carlos didn't feel out of place at all. I was relaxed. He was a nice guy to talk to and he didn't let things get awkward. We were having a conversation about South Korea, until my ice cream scoop fell on the floor, then we couldn't stop laughing. It was pretty embarrassing, but it was okay. I got another scoop and just ate it carefully. Carlos still laughed. On our way to my house, Logan came to mind. He was at work right now and he has texted me four times since, asking what I was up to. I didn't know how he'd react to Carlos and I, sorta, hanging out so I told him I was at home.

"Carlos?"

"I know, I know. You don't want to tell Logan that we went out for ice cream."

"Yeah."

"Don't worry. It was innocent."

"I know. But-,"

"I got it," he smiled. "I'll see you soon? Tomorrow probably," he laughed.

"Yeaahhh," I laughed. "Thanks for the ice cream."

He watched him walk away and I walked into my home to find Logan sitting in my living room.


	4. The Fight

Logan stood up and walked towards me. I felt my feet freeze. He knew. He knew I was with Carlos. I was instantly terrified. Logan was angry.

"I thought you said you were home?" he asked.

"I was, but I forgot my book at Katie's house and I went back to get it."

His facial expression was hard for me to read. I didn't know if he believed me or not.

"I thought you'd be at work?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"I got let go early today and I thought we could hang out," he smiled.

His smile threw me off. It was unexpected.

"Oh, uh. Sure."

"Great. How about some ice cream?"

* * *

><p>I stared at the ice cream cone. I forced it down my throat. If I didn't eat it, Logan would know something was up. By the look on his face, I could tell he wanted to ask me something.<p>

"Are you not hungry, Mo?"

"Yeah, I'm just…trying not to eat it so fast."

"Mm. Well don't let it melt."

I held my stomach as I thought about the one and a half ice cream cones I had just about a half hour ago. I was so full.

I watched Logan eat his ice cream cone and realized that we were sitting in silence. Earlier today with Carlos it was non stop laughing and talking. Why was this different? Was it because Logan and I barely had anything in common? Especially compared to Carlos and I. I wondered if Logan even like Harry Potter or Asian foods. He's never talked about it.

"Logan? Are you a fan of Harry Potter?"

"Pfffftttbbbb! Yeah right! That shit's stupid!"

I felt the blood drain from my face. A simple '_No'_ would've been just fine. But he continued…

"My neighbors kid is a fan, he's always dressed up in those ugly ass costumes. Ugh, I swear that fandom is full of freaks."

I felt my ice cream melting down my arm.

"Logan, I happen to be a HUGE Harry Potter fan."

"Oh god! You're joking right?" he laughed.

"No, Logan, I'm not joking."

"Oh my, well don't worry you'll grow out of it soon. Err…hopefully."

I threw my ice cream cone down on the table and headed towards the exit. I heard him call behind me, but I didn't make any sign of going back. I was pissed.

I stopped when I felt a cold, hard, hand wrap around my wrist, just as I walked outside. He pulled me and turned me around to face him.

"You don't walk away while I'm talking to you," he said in a dark tone.

"Logan, let me go! You're hurting me!"

He only held on tighter.

"Shut up! ."

I pulled my hand away and held it close to my chest.

"I'm going home."

I turned to walk away, but he pulled me back by my shoulder.

"Get in the car. I'm driving you home."

"No, I can walk!"

He grabbed my wrist again.

".."

I looked into his eyes and saw someone else. This wasn't the real Logan. This was a stranger. Or maybe…I never really met the real Logan.

I gave up and took the passengers seat of his car. Arms crossed over my chest, I was angry, but just as terrified.

* * *

><p>The next day, I received a text from Carlos saying he had a hard time getting Logan to take his medication again. It took him a while, but he said he was successful. I allowed a huge smile come across my face. I was happy to hear this. Logan will be getting better soon and I was really looking forward to it. I was still mad at him because of yesterday, but he was taking his medication now and I decided to just let it go.<p>

Carlos thought it would be a good idea to celebrate that Logan would be getting better. So he suggested that we would all go out to eat at the Olive Garden.

At the restaurant, Logan sat extremely close to me, leaving Carlos with the other side of the table all to himself. It was a little uncomfortable, I admit. I slowly moved to the side so I could move my arm better, but he always found a way to end up attached to my side again. By the end of our dinner, I was mashed up between the two.

Afterwards, Logan suggested we'd go back to his house to watch a movie. I still had a couple hours until I had to be home, so I agreed.

Logan had his arms around me during the movie. The end of The Karate Kid came along and Logan was already sound asleep next to me. Carlos looked really sleepy too.

"Hey, I'm going to get some hot chocolate. Would you like some?" he whispered.

"Uh, no thanks."

"Okay, I'll be right back," he smiled.

He went in the kitchen and I heard the microwave go on. I looked over to Logan who was leaning on my shoulder. He was so adorable when he slept. His breathing was steady and he looked so peaceful. I had trouble believing that this was the guy I was afraid of yesterday.

I heard a loud bang coming from the kitchen. Then Carlos made an odd noise. I stood up slowly, gently placing Logan's head on a pillow and ran to the kitchen. I was greeted with a shirtless Carlos hovering over the sink. I felt my face go red, when I realized I couldn't look away. His back looked so smooth, tan, and muscular. I just wanted to…I shook the thought away and cleared my throat.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I spilled hot chocolate on myself," he laughed. "I'm just rinsing my shirt."

"…Oh."

I took a lot of strength to maintain eye contact with him. I refused to let my eyes rape his body.

"Is Logan still asleep?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, taking a seat at the table.

He prepared a new cup of hot chocolate for himself and put on a clean shirt, which settled my stomach. The house was quiet. Logan's parents had arrived during the movie. They're probably asleep right now.

"Are you sure you don't want some?" Carlos asked, moving his mug towards me.

"No, I'm fine."

"Have you ever tried it?"

"Yeah, like a long time ago."

"Well, then how do you know you don't like it now?"

"I just do," I shrugged.

"Taste it. Please?"

"But-,"

"," he said, making a sad puppy face.

"Ugh, okay, but only a little."

I slowly took the mug from his hand, afraid to burn myself. He smiled when our fingers brushed. I brought it up to my mouth and took a sip. The hot liquid spread all around my mouth. It was really sweet, too sweet.

"Well?"

"Ehh…it's alright, I guess," I said, handing it back to him.

"It's okay if you don't like it. I'm just glad you at least _tried _it."

I smiled at him.

"I should go," I said.

"Already?"

"Yeah, it's getting late."

"I'll give you a ride."

"It's okay. I can walk."

"No way! I'll drive you."

I reached in Logan's pocket and took out his keys.

"In Logan's car?" I asked.

"Well, I don't have one."

"…oh yeah. Right."

We pulled into my driveway and a knot formed in my stomach.

"You don't think Logan will get mad that we used his car?" I asked.

"Not if I get home before he notices," he laughed.

"Right. Um, thanks for the ride."

"Sure."

"Oh! Um, tomorrow, I'm having a small get together at my house. I don't know if Logan's mentioned it to you, but I want you to know that you're invited too."

"Oh cool. Thanks. Just a random party?"

"No, um, it's my birthday."

"Oh I see. Then, I will definitely be there," he smiled.

* * *

><p>The next day, my friends, Katie, Vivy, Megan and Sarah all come over and set up everything for a small party. Everything was set up in the backyard. More and more guests started showing up later in the evening. Carlos showed up alone.<p>

"Hey! Happy Birthday!"

He gave me a small hug and handed me a card.

"Thanks!"

"Logan said he'd be here as soon as his shift ends."

Logan would be arriving in a few hours and I wanted to get everybody up and dancing. I turned up the music and dragged everyone to the middle of the yard. When I saw that everyone was having a good time. I decided to clear up some tables. There was a mess.

"Need some help?"

I turned to see Logan standing behind me.

"Hey!"

"Happy Birthday," he said, pulling me into a hug. "I brought you a present."

He handed me a small box with a big red bow on it.

"Well? Are you gonna open it?"

"Right now?"

"Yeahhh," he smiled.

I opened the box and found a silver charm bracelet.

"Wow, Logan this is beautiful!" I said, leaning in for a kiss.

When our lips touched, something felt different. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but it wasn't the same.

"I was hoping you'd like it," he said. "I looked everything for the perfect gift."

As he went to hug me again, Michael came up to us.

"Hey Monica! Great party!"

"HEY!" Logan shouted, causing me to jump. "We're talking here. Can't we be alone for a couple minutes?"

"Lo-," I began.

"WHOA! DUDE! Back off, man!"

"No YOU back off! Can't you see I'm talking to my girlfriend?"

I began to worry. Logan was getting angry I could feel it and I was getting scared. Michael made a fist and threw a punch at Logan. Logan moved around him and threw a punch at the side of Michael's face, sending him straight to the ground. I felt the tears pour down my cheeks. I had to stop them. They stood up and Logan had Michael by the neck, choking him, pulling him down. Everyone started to crowd around. I couldn't find Carlos anywhere. He'd know what to do. I decided to try and fix things myself. I jumped in between them and tried pulling them apart. I turned to face Logan, but I was greeted with a fist coming towards my eye. Everything felt like a blur after that. I could hear Carlos calling out from the crowd and I heard Vivy scream. I felt really dizzy, but then comfortable when I felt my head resting on something. I didn't know how long I was out. I just know that when I opened my eyes I was in my house. I heard voices coming from the kitchen.

"You could've killed her, Logan! Do you understand?"

"I'm not stupid! It was an accident!"

"You didn't take your pills, did you?"

There was no response.

"Dammit Logan! You see what happens? You seriously hurt Michael, and you almost killed Monica with one punch!"

"UGH! I KNOW! JUST STOP!"

I got up from my couch and walked into the room where Logan and Carlos stood. Logan ran to me as soon as he spotted me.

"Monica, I am SO SORRY! I never meant to hurt you!"

He hugged me tighter.

"Let go of me, Logan."

"Won't you forgive me for doing this to you?"

"You managed to ruin my birthday, just get out."

"Please?"

"Get out and don't call me."

Logan stormed out the door without looking back. I felt tears down my cheeks and a pair of arms around me.

"Are you okay?" Carlos asked, turning me around to face him.

"Not really. How's Michael?"

"He's fine. A couple of your friends are taking care of him. He was hit a lot worse than you."

"This is terrible."

"I'm sorry you had such a crappy birthday."

I smiled a little. Carlos was so sweet.

"Hopefully next year it's better," I said. "I guess I better go outside to check on things."

"I'll go with you."

"Thanks."

Later, everyone was heading out. Luckily, there was no need to rush Michael to the emergency room. He had a cut lip, but that was pretty much it. We did want to take him, but he insisted. I said my thanks yous and goodbyes to everyone until Carlos was the only one left.

"Thanks for sticking around," I said.

"Well, someone needed to help clean up. Where are your parents?"

"I asked for one birthday present from them, and that was for them to go out and let me be with my friends."

"Wow, that's nice," he chuckled.

"We're gonna have a birthday dinner next weekend."

"Oh, well that's still nice."

"Yeah."

After cleaning up what needed to be taken inside, Carlos said he had to leave. It was past three am and I was getting sleepy also.

"Thanks. Again, Carlos," I smiled.

"I'm glad I could get a smile out of you after what happened."

It was hard not to smile around this kid.

We stood in the doorway and I could feel him inching closer to me. And closer and closer. His lips were placed on my cheek, leaving a soft kiss.

"Happy Birthday Monica," he whispered.

He walked to his car, leaving me there completely breathless.


	5. The End

The flowers kept arriving, and the notes, the balloons, the giant teddy bears, the texts, the calls, AND the emails. My parents asked questions. According to me, I fell and hit my face on a chair, causing the black eye, and Logan and I fought about something stupid. Luckily, they bought it all. They had no idea about the fight or about Michael. By the end of the night, my room was lost underneath all the gifts. I began to sort it all out, when my mom called me downstairs. Logan was waiting at the door.

"Mom, I told you that I didn't want to talk to him."

"If you want out of this, sweetie, you need to end this for good."

I walked outside with him and he looked like he hadn't slept in days.

"Mo, I need you to forgive me. It's been days and I can't live like this. I miss you. I _need_ you."

"You beat up one of my best friends. I can't just forgive you."

"I'll do anything. Just please, forgive me."

I convinced him to go to Michael's house and apologize. That's truly what I wanted. I also went with him. Michael wasn't too sure if he believed what Logan was saying. I gave him a nod, letting him know that what Logan was saying was meaningful. They shook hands and I felt satisfied. I took Logan's word when he said he wouldn't cause anymore trouble and he promised to take his meds.

* * *

><p>Tonight I was going out with my parents for my birthday dinner. We were going to the China Buffet, of course. Chinese food is my favorite food. I was getting ready, when I got a text from Logan. I already knew it was from him without even looking at my phone.<p>

_Let's hang out tonight, Mo._

_Tonight is my birthday dinner with my parents You knew, we just talked about this two days ago, Logan._

_You still haven't forgiven me, have you?_

_What are you talking about? I forgave you and so did Michael, but tonight I just can't go out with you. _

_Please, babe?_

_I'm sorry, but no. Tonight is my night with my parents._

I got no reply after that. I didn't bother texting him again. I let it go and headed to the restaurant with my parents.

Dinner was going very well. We talked about a lot of things. It felt like we hadn't had an actual family gathering in forever even though we live together. It just that they're busy people and school keeps my occupied too. We don't really have much time together at home.

Dessert time finally arrived and I knew exactly what I was going to get. Chocolate ice cream. I stood up to go get some, when my mom stopped me.

"Mo, will you get me a slice of pie?" She smiled. "I don't feel like getting up."

"HUUH," I laughed. "Sure."

I went to pick up the pie first, afraid that if I got my ice cream first, it would melt. I reached for the cones when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to find Michael standing there holding three chocolate chip cookies, his favorite.

"Hey, Michael!"

"What's up?"

"Just having a birthday dinner with my parents."

"Oh, that's nice. Weird, we picked to come here on the same day. I'm here with my sister."

"That's-,"

"Monica?"

I looked behind Michael and saw Logan standing there.

"Logan? What are you doing here?" I asked.

"You ditched me for this guy?"

"I told you, I'm here with my parents!"

"Then what is here doing here?"

"We just ran into each other," I said.

"That's a bunch of bull."

"Wait, how did you know I was here? Logan, did you follow me? If you did then you'd KNOW I'm here with my parents!"

"How do I know that you didn't plan to meet up with him here?"

"Logan, why do you always think these things of me?"

"Just come with me."

"No! I'm having dinner with my family."

He took my wrist and pulled me towards him. I pulled back and felt Michael's arms hold me.

"Let her go! She's coming with me!"

That's when I saw heads turn all around the restaurant.

"Logan, don't do this here."

"Come with me!"

He pulled me again, but this time Michael pulled me back.

"Why are you acting like this?" I asked.

"I love you, Monica. I want to be with you forever. You can't leave me for this guy!"

"I think you need some help, Logan. I don't know where you're getting all of these ideas."

"I don't need help! I need YOU!"

"No! I can't….I can't do this anymore."

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"I'm saying…that…I think we need to break up."

"….What? NO!"

"YES!"

"I love you, Monica!"

"-But I DON'T love…you."

"It's because of him, right?" he asked, pointing to Michael.

"NO! Logan. I'm…ugh….I'm done with this."

"But-,"

"I'm DONE, LOGAN MITCHELL."

I felt an enormous weight lifted from my shoulders. Everyone around seemed to have disappeared. I wasn't sure if they heard the whole thing. I just know my parents did. They were both waiting for me near the exit. I knew, it was time to leave. It was over.

* * *

><p>I didn't hate Logan. I just needed space from him. He did ruin my birthday party and my birthday dinner, but I couldn't bring myself to hate him. He needed some sort of help. Even though he promised to take his pills I know very well that he didn't. it was frustrating and I wish there was something I can do. I knew staying with him wasn't an option. As soon as I got home I texted Carlos.<p>

* * *

><p>"That explains why he stormed into his room," Carlos said, after I explained what happened.<p>

"I just…I couldn't do it anymore. I still really care for him, but I just can't…date him."

Carlos and I sat in my living room. My house was quiet, all you could hear was the fan in the other room. I didn't have much more to say. I poured everything out and Carlos was a good listener. He even vented a little himself. We were here for each other and it felt good.

"Thanks for listening to me," I said. "I had a lot to say."

"It's fine. I'm here to listen."

I walked him to the door. It was late and he wanted to check on Logan.

"I'll talk to you soon?" I asked.

"Of course," he smiled, and leaned into give me a kiss on the cheek.

I couldn't control it. It just happened. I turned my face slightly and our lips connected. He didn't protest. He only made it deeper and deeper. I placed my hands on his shoulders and pulled him closer. I was pressed against the door. I couldn't believe this was happening, but it felt good. It felt perfect.

"C-Carlos? …M-Monica?"

Carlos pulled away and turned around. Logan was standing there, panting.

"W-What are you DOING?" Logan shouted.

"Logan, NO! It's not what it looks like?" Carlos said, running to him.

Logan faced me.

"I hate you," he said. "And I hate you too, Carlos!"

He threw a paper ball at me and ran away.

"Logan! Wait!"

Carlos looked at me with hurt in his eyes. He looked like he wanted to cry. He didn't say anything. He just took off after Logan.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Mo,<em>

_ I know you broke up with me, but I still want to tell you that I love you. Since you won't listen to me, I thought I'd write you a letter and just drop it off. Just know that I'm sorry for everything and that for you, I really will try harder to do what I have to do to get better. I was thinking about when we first met and how cute you looked sitting behind the desk at the library. I remember your funny friend who never came back to pick you up. I could go on listing things about us forever, but I know I have to let it go, as hard as it will be. I'll never stop loving you. Seeing you around with someone else will destroy me, but I have to learn that you are no longer mine. I'm also glad I have Carlos here with me. He is my brother and I know he'll never let me down when I need him the most. He will help me deal with this break up. But anyways, I hope we can still be friends, I know you probably hate me. I will get better I promise, and then maybe, just maybe one day you'll accept me again. I love you._

_ -Logan_

I didn't exactly know what I was feeling right now. I still felt butterflies from when Carlos was kissing me, but when Logan showed up I felt really light headed. I don't know if I cared that Logan had seen us. I do feel bad about it, because I am his ex, and Carlos is his best friend, ahem, brother. My house was still silent, as I lay in my bed. I stare at the ceiling, confused. What happens now? My feelings were all over the place. And so was my stomach, but I wasn't hungry.

I didn't notice when I fell asleep, or when my parents got home. I got up to the bathroom around 2am. When I got back my phone rang. It was Carlos.

"Hello?"

"M-Monica?"

He sounded almost like he was …shaking?

"Carlos? What's wrong?"

"I-It's Logan. S-Something's happened."


	6. The Regret

I didn't want to look at him while he slept looking like this, but it was very difficult to look away. Carlos sat on the other side of Logan's hospital bed and avoided eye contact with me. Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell were sitting on the couch. I felt so out of place. Logan had been sleeping for hours. It was now 8am. I've been here since Carlos called, that was the last time he talked to me. I didn't try and talk to him either. Everyone needs space right now. I decided to go downstairs for some fresh air. The hospital was quiet and cold. It was uncomfortable. Nurses walked around with their clipboards and others helped patients in their rooms. Doctors ran around the halls and families came for visiting time. There was always something to do on the other side of the waiting room. I don't know why I bought coffee. I don't even like it. Honestly, I don't even remember buying it. My mind has been in a different world. I threw it away and bought myself an apple juice from the vending machine in the cafeteria instead.

The cafeteria was pretty much empty when I walked in. A man sat alone at a table in the corner. He stared at his hands. He was deep in thought. Another sat near the door. He looked like he hasn't slept in days. Neither of them noticed my entrance. I just took a seat and put my head down. I felt my eyes shutting.

…

_My heart was beating fast as I ran into the hospital. I found Mrs. Mitchell right away. She was in tears. _

_ "Mrs. Mitchell, what happened? Where's Logan? Carlos?"_

_ "Logan, he-," she let out a sob. "Monica, my little boy tried to take his life."_

_ "H-he w-what?" I felt the tears falling. _

_This couldn't be happening. It can't be real. I couldn't help but feel guilty for everything._

_ "I don't understand why," she said, wiping her nose with a used tissue. "Was he not happy?"_

_I didn't know how to respond. _

_ "Can I see him?"_

_She nodded and led me to his room. That's when I saw him and I swear I felt my heart break. He slept with bandages wrapped tight around his wrists. There was Logan._

…

I woke up to find Mrs. Mitchell sitting next to me.

"I was just looking for you. I worried," she said.

"How's Logan? Is he awake?"

"They said he was really weak when we brought him, he could sleep for a while," she said, looking the other way.

I felt so much guilt. Logan shouldn't have done this. I had to tell Mrs. Mitchell what had been going on in our relationship. The reason Logan attempted to take his life. It was my fault.

"Mrs. Mitchell, there's some-,"

"Maybe we should go back upstairs," she interrupted.

I just nodded.

Maybe it just wasn't the right time for her to know.

Logan's room was warm, but it wasn't comforting. Carlos and Mr. Mitchell sat on the couch staring at their hands.

We sat in silence for a couple hours waiting for something. Logan began to shift in his bed. We all ran to him.

"Logan? Sweetie?" Mrs. Mitchell whispered.

He eyes opened slowly. A knot built in my stomach and I could feel Carlos straighten up. Neither of us knew how Logan would react when he sees us. We really didn't have any other option. We both cared for him and wanted him to be okay. Still, we stood here debating whether we should run away now, because we both feel one hundred percent responsible.

"Mom?" he said. "D-Dad?"

"We're here," Mrs. Mitchell cried. "Logan, we're hear."

He looked around the room studying it, but his eyes froze on me.

"What are you two doing here?"

"Logan," Carlos began. "I-,"

"Get out! BOTH of you!"

"Logan, what's wrong? They're your friends! They just want you to be okay!" Mr. Mitchell said, holding him down.

"They're not my FRIENDS."

"Logan, please-," I said.

"Just LEAVE! This is all YOUR fault! I HATE YOU _BOTH_!"

He was freaking out. He even tried getting up. Mr. Mitchell held him tight and called a nurse.

Mrs. Mitchell stood up. She wasn't crying anymore. She pushed me and Carlos out of the room.

"YOU did this to my son? Carlos, I thought you were a good guy and Monica, I was just wrong about you too. I don't EVER want to see you around my family EVER."

She walked back in the room.

Carlos and I stood there. I let the tears fall. She was right. This was my fault. _I_ did this to Logan.

"Carlos…"

I reached for his arm, but he moved away.

"Don't," he said. "We almost killed him."

"We can fix this. We can talk to him again and we-,"

"No Monica, there's no 'we'. I'm done with this. With…you. Logan is my brother. _I'm _going to fix this. _I'm_ going to talk to him. _You_ just….need to stay away."

I felt like I was being stabbed.

"Are you serious? So everything we had, you're just throwing it away? Everything we felt."

"We never _had_ anything! I never _felt_ anything."

"YOU'RE LYING!"

"You need to leave. I have to talk to Mrs. Mitchell and Logan."

"For what? So you can tell him you regret kissing me?"

"That's exactly what I'm going to say."

"You'll be lying."

"No," he said looking away. "I regret it all."

"Liar."

"I CAN'T LOSE MY BROTHER!"

"AND I CAN'T LOSE _YOU_, CARLOS."

He looked at me once more and walked passed me.


	7. The Quick Visit

I was filled with many emotions. I really didn't know what exactly I was feeling. I couldn't remember coming home from the hospital. I can't remember what I did this morning. Logan was going to be fine, I do remember that, and Carlos hates me. I don't know if I can handle that. His words hurt me. A part of me wanted to run to him, but I just couldn't bring myself to. He doesn't want to see me ever again. I almost got Logan killed, his brother. He's never going to forgive me. I'M never going to forgive MYSELF. I had a talk with my parents already. They knew what was going on now and they were keeping a close eye on my. I don't know why they bother, I haven't left the house or anything.

A week went by and I was still in my room. I haven't left the house for anything. I haven't looked at my phone or turned on my computer. My mom tried to get me to at least read a book, but I couldn't get passed one paragraph. I can't focus on anything. My mind kept replaying Carlos' words, Logan's words, even Mrs. Mitchell's words. The guilt that takes over me is so powerful that I forget about everything else.

Katie called a couple of times. I already explained to her what happened and that I just need some time to myself. She told me to call in case I needed someone to talk to and I thanked her. She was a good friend. She called a few times after that, inviting me to go out to the movies, but I said no. I really wasn't in the mood for fun. I don't think anything would be fun for me right now.

I feel like a zombie all the time. I just lay here and stay warm in my bed. My mom drags me downstairs to eat something, but I always make my way back up here. She comes and talks to me before she goes to bed. I guess she wants to make sure I know that she's here with me. She says it's difficult for my dad to understand, the whole 'boy' thing. But it's more serious than that. I caused someone to want to kill themselves. I was guilty for something like that.

One morning I decided I'd leave the house for a little bit. I don't know what cause this boost of energy. Maybe it was the way I woke up today. The sun was shining through my window giving me a bit of happiness. For a quick second I just forgot about everything and just took in the sunshine like a breath of fresh air. It was beautiful. I stepped out on the porch and let the wind practically knock me over. It felt so good. I even smiled a little bit.

It's been a month since I'd seen anyone, besides my parents. It felt weird walking down the side walk, watching cars go by and hearing so much noise.

I was a block away when I realized where I was. The library.

_Did Logan go back to work?_

_Was he okay enough to go back?_

_Was he okay at all?_

I went in a found someone new working behind the desk. I left disappointed.

_What was I going to say anyway?_

He hates me, but I wanted to know if he was okay. I never stopped caring about him. He needed help and he just wasn't accepting that.

I ended up at his house. When I got to the front steps, I just stood there before ringing the doorbell. I stared at the button. I was having second thoughts about being here. I still didn't know what I was going to say, but I just have to see him. I shut my mind up and rang the doorbell. Before I could run the door open. It was him. He was looking a little better since last time I saw him. But he was still really pale and his eyes were as sad as before.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Hi Logan."

I wanted to cry. I don't know if it was from how guilty I felt or from how happy I was to see him.

"I'm not going to forgive you," he said. "I didn't even forgive Carlos, who was like a brother to me before he met you."

"I just wanted to see you. How are you?"

"Oh, I'm just peachy as you can see."

Then it hit me, "Wait, you didn't forgive Carlos?" I asked.

"No."

"But then, where has he been?"

"Oh, you don't know? I thought he might've ran to you after I told him I hated him a million times. He went back to L.A."

He was gone. I was never going to see him again.

"Logan, what we did to you was terrible."

He began to shut the door, when I put in foot in.

"Listen, to me!" I shouted. "You're not so innocent here either! You hurt me AND my friends. Logan, you hurt YOUR friends."

He just looked at me. I expected a violent reaction right away so I made sure there was a lot of space between us. He scared me, but I got nothing.

"That was not okay," I said. "I'm not saying what we did was, but Carlos was there for me when you weren't and I appreciated his company. He listened to me. He didn't trash talk about things I like or make me feel stupid. He was nice to my friends."

"I could've been nice," he whispered.

"I tried to talk to you about it, but you denied having a problem. You didn't listen. You pushed me away."

He began to rub his eyes.

"I didn't think I'd even lose both of you. You guys meant everything to me and you betrayed me. You two were the most important people in my life."

"Logan, I care about you. Carlos cares about you. This is why we wanted you to get some help, to talk to someone and get better."

"But you still would've left me, for Carlos!"

I didn't have a response to that. Deep down I knew he was right.

"Just leave," he said.

He looked away from me and once again the mighty guilt took over. I did this to him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and headed back home.


	8. The Search

I moved quickly before I regretted my actions. I didn't think. I know if I did, I wouldn't be where I am right now, staring out the window, watching myself take off from the runway. This was it. There was no turning back now. The was no one to stop me and no one to try and tell me that I was insane, even though I was already convinced I was. I guess I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I just knew I needed to see Carlos.

This was completely backwards, my life, this situation. In the movies, isn't it always the guy that goes after the girl? He gets her right before she boards the plane, he tells her that he loves her, they kiss and she stays. That's how everyone imagines it, like the movies. But this wasn't a movie. There's no guaranteed happy ending with a 'happily ever after' or a guy throwing rocks at my window, ready to serenade me. This was real life. I can't sit around and feel sorry for myself, isolating myself from the world because I'm not ready to face it.

This is exactly why I didn't think about anything but Carlos, when I bought a ticket for the next flight to LA. I knew if I did, I would think about how Carlos would react in seeing me. Will he tell me to go home, like Logan did? Would he take me back? Forgive me? Would he come back? I was scared, I admit. But these questions remained in the back of my mind. Right now I had to focus on one thing, and one thing only, where in LA is Carlos. I felt an even bigger knot in my stomach as the thought really set in. I had absolutely no idea where to look for Carlos.

I thought about possible places to look. The worst part was that I've never been to LA before, but I knew enough about Carlos to know in what places to look the hardest. I did some research on the plane. I looked for some popular Dairy Queen's, places where they held open mics, a popular Jamba Juice, movie theatres. Logan once mentioned Carlos liked to hang out at small diner called Rocky's, so that's a place I plan to hang out for a while.

My head was hurting. I haven't been keeping track of time. I've had to be in the air for at least and an hour and a half now, just another hour and a half to go. I flipped through more of the magazines that were in the back of the seats. California seemed beautiful. Definitely a place I would love to vacation in. But I'm not here for sight-seeing and I didn't plan in stopping my search to take pictures, even if it was one of my favorite hobbies.

My eyes burned when I opened them. I looked out the window. We had landed. It looked like the sun was ready to set in maybe two hours. If I wanted to get anything done today I had to move quickly. I grabbed the only bag I brought and moved out as fast as I could. Also, catching a cab to downtown wasn't too hard. LAX was full of them.

"Where are you headed?" The cab driver asked.

"Rocky's. Downtown."

I couldn't help but to admire everything we drove by. Even though it wasn't completely dark outside yet, the lights were so bright. No wonder people complained about not being able to see the stars out here. I kept my eyes on the people walking, even if the cab was moving fast. I kept my eyes open for Carlos. He could be anywhere. I regret so much not asking him or Logan where he lives, before any of this happened. That would've made things a LOT easier.

Rocky's was a small place, but it didn't fail in bringing in customers. The place was packed. I paid the cab driver and made my way in. I got the smell of burgers right away and my mouth watered. I was starving, of course. I looked around, nervously. He could be here. There were groups of guys and girls all around. It was Friday night, I wasn't surprised. I slid into a booth and ordered a simple burger. My eyes kept going to the opposite corner of where I sat. Maybe it was the heat in here, or maybe LA was already getting to me, but I could've sworn I saw a hazel -eyed boy smile at me. It wasn't like a flirty smile. It was more like an understanding smile, which was weird and awkward, because I've never seen this guy before. But for some reason he made me feel like I wasn't the only one who was missing someone.

Taking down my burger was harder than I thought it would be. My eyes never looked away from the crowds. I scanned everyone in sight over and over again. I memorized their faces. Whenever a new group went in I watched them for like twenty minutes until I was sure Carlos wasn't one of them. After finishing my food, I stalled a little. I pretended to look through my phone for while, when really I didn't look at it once. My eyes were still around the diner. Two hours went by and there was no sign of Carlos. I felt stupid for spending my entire evening in here, but this was the place that I had more chances of running into him. Still, I sort of regret not leaving a while ago to look in other places.

Though, it was late, the streets were still busy, once again I wasn't surprised. I found a cheap hotel, which was very surprising for LA and settled in. I made a mental note to visit that diner at least once every night that I'm here. I know I won't be here long. I only brought so much money. Three days. If I didn't find Carlos in three days, I'll give up. I'll go home and give him up for good.

I couldn't sleep. Maybe the bed was too uncomfortable, maybe my brain was. The question that kept popping up was 'what the hell am I doing here?' Carlos said he never wanted to see me again. He hates me. So why did I come all the way out here to find him? I really believed he would take me back? Would he ever forgive me for causing his brother to hate him? I knew the answer to that question, no. Only because I knew I wouldn't forgive myself, ever. Once again, I'm over thinking everything. I have to act without thinking, that's the only way I will get somewhere.

The next morning, I set out for a long walk around the city. I went into many stores, not looking at the merchandise at all, but at the people. Everyone was so beautiful and people actually dressed up to go shopping. It was odd.

I didn't think about what I would say when I ran into Carlos, or what I would do. I want it to just happen and let things go from there. Whatever was meant to happen will happen. I was prepared for the worst. After what seemed like a million stores and shops I stopped to rest at a Jamba Juice. I watched tourists take millions of pictures with the guy covered in silver paint and the Spiderman. It was funny when the guy dressed as Chucky scared away some kids. Sitting there was a good distraction, but I knew I had to keep moving.

By evening, I was falling apart. I'd visited tons of stores, small shops, open mic bars, Dairy Queen's, just everywhere. I felt like my legs were going fall off and my back was killing me. I took a cab back to my hotel. I was angry. No progress again. I thought about calling Logan. He knows where he lives. But I know he'd never tell me. He hated me enough to give me a false address. I wouldn't know where he'd send me. I could get myself killed alone out here.

When I got back to my room I took a quick shower. I felt so good. When I stepped out I heard my phone from my jean's pocket. I didn't go for it immediately. It was kind of weird, hearing it ring. I shook my head and dug in my pocket.

"Hello?"

"Monica?"

"…Katie?"

"Where are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm…fine," I bit my lip.

I didn't exactly tell anyone where I was going. My parents thought I was spending the weekend at Katie's house and if Katie is calling, then that means something must've happened, unless, she would've just texted me.

"Where are you?"

"Um…I'm…"

"You have to come home!"

"Is something wrong what happened?"

"I don't really know how to describe the situation, but you need to come home."

"Katie, I…I can't. I'm in LA."

"YOU'RE WHERE? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?"

"I came to find…Carlos."

I heard her laugh on the other side of the phone. The knot in my stomach formed again, but it was different than before. I ignored it and questioned Katie.

"Dude, you're scaring me. What is going on?"

"Monica, come home."

Her voice was serious.

"I need to find Carlos first."

"Please, just stop, come home."

"NO KATIE! YOU DON'T UNDER-,"

"CARLOS IS HERE!"

I felt like my face was going to burst into flames and I wanted to destroy everything in sight.

"HE'S…WHAT?"

"He came to my house looking for you. He said he went to your house and your parents sent him here."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was trying to convince myself that I fell in the shower and hit my head and now I'm probably dead.

"Where is he now?"

"I don't know. I told him I didn't know where you were and he left. Do you think he went to Logan's house?"

"I don't know, I just know that I'm wasting my fucking time here. I cannot believe this. It's insane! I'm going to go INSANE!"

"Just calm down and get back here!"

The line went dead. I stood there. I couldn't move, barely even breath. Carlos went back and he was looking for me. I didn't know whether to be furious, to cry, to rip my hair out, I just knew I needed to get back home. I threw on whatever clothes I had brought and gathered all my things. Waiting for the cab outside the hotel felt like forever. I was dying to get home. And again, a knot was created in my stomach. Why was Carlos looking for me? Does he still hate me? Are we going to forget about everything and start over? I mentally slapped myself.

On the way to LAX I stared out the window just like I did yesterday. Except, everything seemed more pleasing today. I had some good hope in me. Even if Carlos didn't want to get back together, I was still going to get the closure that I came here to find. I was going to sleep in peace.


	9. The Warm Welcome

The cab driver tried to make small talk, but I couldn't focus. We were still far enough for me to finally decide where exactly I was going. I could just go home and wait until tomorrow to look for Carlos. I could go to Katie's house or Logan's? But those options scared me. What would I say to Carlos? What would he say? Why is he here in the first place? I shook my head and the driver mumbled something. I probably answered one of his questions unknowingly.

I texted Katie letting her know that I had landed and I made my decision to just go home and wait everything out. I know I'm not sleeping tonight. I gave the driver my address and I was headed towards home. My mind trailed back to my 'adventure' in LA looking for Carlos. I mentally slapped at myself hoping my stupidity would go away. What was I thinking? Did I really expect to find Carlos in such a huge city? With no clues of where he might be, with the exception of Rocky's. I rubbed my head at the thought of not knowing what to do in a strange place like that. I could've gotten myself killed.

Finally getting home I felt safe, but at the same time I felt like a stranger. It's been a while since I really looked at my home. In the past few weeks I've spent so much time inside of it, the outside looked unfamiliar. I noticed that there was a lamp on inside. It was nearly 2 am, who could be awake? Unless my parents decided just to leave a light on incase I came home early, which I did.

Just as I was about to put in my key the door opened. I dropped my keys at the sight of Carlos. He was here, in my home, waiting?

Before I could react he wrapped his arms around me tight. I hugged him back with the same feeling. Turns out I missed him more than I thought I did. I held in tears that were beginning to fill my eyes.

"Carlos what are you doing here?" I asked pulling away.

"I just got off the phone with Katie. She told me everything. ARE YOU NUTS?"

I didn't expect the outburst, but I should have. I was embarrassed.

"Why would you go out there alone? Why?"

"I, I wanted to see you," I confessed.

"It was a very dangerous move of you. What if you got lost or something bad happened to you? I-I don't know what I would've done if something happened to you," he whispered.

Now I really felt like crying.

"Why did you want to see me anyway? After all those things I said to you," he asked.

"Honestly, I don't know. Even when I was there I didn't know what I was going to say or what was going to happen. I just felt like I needed to see you, know if you were okay."

I didn't respond. He just looked at me.

"Now you tell me. Why are you here?" I asked.

"I, I…Logan called me."

I wasn't sure if I had heard him correctly.

"What? Logan?"

He nodded.

"He apologized for everything. He wants to talk to you too. He said as soon as you got back but you should probably wait until tomorrow."

I was speechless.

"He, uh, he told you to come back?"

"No, well he did but I refused and, no, I came back on my own," he turned away, almost… blushing?

"Oh…"

"Monica, I'm sorry."

"No, please don't apologize. You know, everyone knows, this was all my fault. Your relationship with Logan would still be perfect if I had never come into the picture."

"You're wrong. If it weren't for you Logan would have never gotten help, he would've never recovered from his problems and if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here, going crazy."

"Please don't go crazy, I don't want to ruin your life any more. I know I messed things up, but-,"

His loud chuckle surprised me.

"Why are you laughing?" I asked.

"Because I'm not going crazy like 'mental' crazy," he laughed.

"Then-,"

"I'm going crazy for you, crazy in _love_."

Once again I was speechless. Part of me wanted to believe that I was still in the cab having a dream, the other part of me just wanted to hear him say that over and over again. Carlos was in love with me.

He must've noticed that I was thinking hard, because he just stood there smiling at me.

"Carlos…"

"Just tell me, do you love me too?"

This was the moment. To just tell him.

I tried to nod my head up and down but it felt like it was just going in many different directions, but that's all I could think of doing, since no words could leave my mouth.

He smiled and pulled me into a kiss. I remembered the first time he had gotten so close to me the butterflies I had in my stomach, this felt the similar just a million times better.

He pulled away and smiled at me.

"I'm so glad you're okay," he said. "You're an idiot for going to look for me," he laughed. "Why didn't you just call me?"

"I didn't think it'd be enough."

"I love you."

My smiled disappeared when Logan came to mine.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I love you too, and I want to be with you, but what about Logan?"

He was smiling again.

"There's a lot he has to talk to you about, but tomorrow. Right now, you need to sleep."

"Okay," I thought for a moment. "…um, will you stay with me?"

He smiled.

"Of course."

I woke up to Carlos' sleeping face. I didn't want to move from here. This is what I've always wanted. To wake up next to someone who I loved and truly loved me back. I really couldn't ask for more than this.

"Morning," he whispered, eyes still shut.

"Hi," I said. "Um, I should go talk to my parents."

I began to move when he pulled me closer.

"Mm wait," he said.

He opened his eyes.

"I love you," he smiled.

"I love you too," I said, leaning in for a kiss.

He let me go and I smiled at him once more before heading to the bathroom.

Of course, just as I suspected, I'm grounded for life. I also have to figure out how I'm going to pay off my plane tickets. I was in a deep hole, but I was okay. I know that I will have Carlos by my side at all times and I was ready to face anything else with him. But now my mind was on something else, something that has to be settled for good before I can take on anything with Carlos. I have to face his brother, Logan.


End file.
